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We’ve begun to realize that over the years, despite our best intentions, we’ve accumulated unwanted things . As the calendar turned we determined it was important to look at each of them and determine if they are helping our lives or dragging us down, and then tossing those that long longer fit.
It is not stuff that we are facing (we’ve gotten really good at managing this over the years) it’s relationships. It’s those connections with people that do not feed our spirit or provide us the support to live the lives we want.
We started by examining each relationship (yes, Facebook friends counted as a relationship for us) and asking if the person was adding to our daily lives or pulling us down. It was surprising just how many negative influences we had allowed to seep into our Facebook streams or personal interactions (Skype, email, in person). When we stopped to take a hard look the problem was clear.
We discovered in the process that we had relationships that simply did not fit with the vision for our life.
Time to Take Action
Since most of you have been here for some time and know us, you will be aware that we are not ones to let time go by without taking action on a problem. Starting January 1st we began culling our relationships. (That sounds far more harsh in print than it did in my head). It was not necessarily people we dislike (though in some cases those did weasel their way , but it was their attitude that we could no longer be surrounded by. We needed to cut it out to allow ourselves to enjoy the life we’ve created and focus on the positive.
We’ve unfollowed or unfriended large numbers of people on Facebook. We are distancing ourselves from others in how we interact in email and making it clear that we are not interested in continuing the relationship in the same manner.
The hardest part of getting rid of relationships is the awareness of what that connection once meant and admitting that something has changed. We recall the memory of a good night or a good vacation together and are sad at how things are today. We struggle with cutting people off who once held a place in our hearts, but we made a decision and we’re sticking to it?—?messy emotions and all.
Our lives are too short to abide those who pull us down with each conversation. Those who seem to only want to talk about all that is wrong with those around them. Those who gossip and feel comfortable telling stories about other friends (I’m sure they are doing the same about us the moment we’re not there). Our lives are too short not to be surrounded by people who bring a positive attitude to their lives and a willingness to share it with us.
A New Year a New Focus
We’re starting off the new year with less.
- Less negativity.
- Less guilt for not meeting up with people who we don’t want to see.
- Less uncomfortable conversations we tolerated.
- Less frustration when we read our Facebook streams (hell, less time ON Facebook).
We are focusing on 2015 as the Year of More.
- More positive conversations
- More time spent with those we care about
- More interactions with people who build up our confidence
- More joy when we open our email
- More days spent outdoors
- More new experiences
- More exploration
- More connection
- More kissing
- More holding hands
- More living each moment as if it will be our last
- More love
By separating ourselves from the relationships that no longer support our goals we are one step closer to making it happen. We know it is going to be a great year together and now we can share it with those that we love and care about.