Let’s be honest, though. Sometimes they deserve it.
As you may recall, when we first made the decision to travel it was for a year-long career break. Then it became two years. Finally we just sold everything we owned and made it an open-ended journey, a trip that would take our savings completely to zero before we returned.
The more free we became with our plans, the better I felt.
Now that we’ve been traveling for 9 months, we’ve decided to make it a permanent lifestyle and settle down for six months to kick-start the business, which means the trip now includes a bit of work along with the play and a need to generate more money than we are spending.
We’ve gone from being lovers to business partners overnight with this decision, and just like sleeping with your coworkers, sometimes it gets messy.
Take today, for instance. I screwed up on an opportunity that could have resulted in making us some money and gaining a bunch of new readers. Actually, I didn’t really screw it up so much as let it wither and die, which is somehow worse. Screwing up because of the wrong actions is less depressing than screwing up because you just didn’t do anything.
That’s the rub with this new lifestyle. We have to balance the enjoyment and carefree attitude of this lifestyle with the planning and work required to finance it.
One of us is better at this scenario than the other one.
Vengeance is mine
So when Warren called me out on the missed opportunity, I felt like a jerk.
When he did it in a compassionate but firm way, I felt like a jerk AND hated his guts for being a decent guy, further highlighting my failure.
When he suggested ways to make the situation better in the future to avoid another fight, I felt like a jerk AND hated his guts AND thought about shaving off his eyebrows in his sleep (or maybe just one so he’d have to endure the humiliation of shaving off the other one himself).
One of us is more creative than the other one, at least in terms of vengeance.
This is going to sting a little
The truth is, none of us likes to be called on it when we make a mistake. We don’t want our partners to see us as less than awesome or stumbling when we should be flying.
But it happens. And when you work together and play together and build a life together, you should expect to see each other in a bad light every now and again.
I’m not a great planner, but I have to become a better one to make our ideal life happen. The sense of false emergency about our daily lives is something I am glad we left behind when we started this trip, but it doesn’t mean I can let go of any sense of legitimate urgency, that little bit of stress that actually forces us to get important things done.
I hate it when Warren points out a flaw or a mistake, especially the ones that he could probably let slide and avoid a fight. He wants me to be the best I can be so we can be better together. He doesn’t hold me to any higher standard than I put out there myself, but he also doesn’t let me forget those commitments I made.
For someone who likes to talk a lot of smack, this can be a real problem. You have to put up or shut up.
I hate it when he tries to make me a better person. Until I gently morph into that better person, that is. And then I love him more than I could ever imagine.
How do you handle it when you’ve messed up and get called out on it?
On the flip side, how do you treat your partner when they mess up in a big way?